Sunday, July 11, 2010

Not living in this world today


I hate how I'm lost in my own world today. Not that kind of "I only want to do what I'm doing, I don't care about anything else around me" kind of lost, but in a scary way.

My actions are all unconscious, and my mind somewhere else. I'm not heartbroken, troubled or moody. I just can't seem to think, I can't process whatever people are trying to say.


During dinner, I finished up the entire (big) plate of vegetables without realizing it. It was only until there were a few stalks left that I realized I haven't left any for my family. It wasn't because I knew I had to save some for others yet I still ate them.

I really didn't know I ate everything up.

I was lost in my own thoughts but I don't remember what I was thinking about, which means they weren't anything particularly sensible.



Why is this happening? I don't feel tired at all. I feel guilty for not doing work but I really can't. How to, when I can't even do normal stuff properly? I want to rest, but I can't. There's a neverending pile of work to do and I'm not completing them.

I'm so screwed but my brain really isn't working. I feel like dying.

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